I now remember how my best friend faded away. We used to meet and talk. And play. We could share anything and laugh at nothing. We would stare at sorrow with arms around each other. A huddle which I thought could not break. We would stand and watch the world transact, sharing a smirk. And think of them as small pebbles thrown at us. We owned a belief that the oneness of it all will stand the test of eternity. We would cry with joy at times. It was the truest cleansing.
Knowing my friend made me know me. And it made me love this ugly beautiful world. We embraced it with an absolute expectation of the unexpected. We had the strongest armour with us. It was called self-realisation. Like a strong touch with the inside. A gigantic reservoir of faith.
And then they came - Time & its able lieutenant, Vagaries. They fought but we fought better, my friend and I. They threw darkness at us but we offered stars. They invited us to usurp but we gave instead. Eventually and momentarily, they gave up. And that’s how I got built.
But Time and its lieutenant were willful and relentless. First, Time played its part. It kept knocking on the door and the knocks grew louder and our conversations got drowned in them. Eventually, the castle was permeated with Vagaries. And with that came the new law. It was called the ‘Rule of Pliability’. I was told my friend was to live in another place. Much deeper in a city called the Subliminal. That we could be in touch with each other now and then but it wouldn’t be like earlier. Vagaries said this is the best way and we listened. And followed.
“Keep in touch”, said my friend as he was whisked away into the darkness. Time made sure I didn’t remember what he said and my alteration was unnoticeable to myself. New alliances were made, armours were changed. This new one was soft, unlike the earlier one of steel and had holes in it.
But today I took a walk. Deep inside myself. And with a great searchlight called Mindfulness and an old and dusty map called Conscious, I found my best friend. Disheveled and vulnerable, he would have been unnoticeable to anyone else. Time fed him on illusions and Vagaries gave him lies. Confused with his own reflection and scared with his possible endangerment, he didn’t seem as friendly as he used to be.
He resisted my familiarity and tried pushing me away. But I had not walked this deep inside to give up. I took him to a place where Time didn’t exist and Vagaries was a bystander. I picked him up tenderly, careful not to hurt. And with open loving arms, I made us into one again. We crossed Time & Vagaries on my way back. With a nod that was both approving and disappointing at the same time, they left us, our arms around each other.
And that’s how I lost and found my best friend - Me.